The Caitlin Mitchell Show
After nearly a decade in business, it's time for me to share what I've learned about building a business focused on service leadership to help you on your journey as a business owner. My goal is for you to walk away from each episode with one thing - one sentence, one thought, one perspective shift, one new idea - that has an impact on you, your business, or your life.
The Caitlin Mitchell Show
The Top 5 Phrases I Repeat Daily As a Leader | Ep 4
In my latest episode, I reveal the powerful phrases that have reshaped my perspective and boosted my leadership skills. From the strong mental resilience of legends like Michael Jordan to the confident spirit of Muhammad Ali, we dive into the impact of positive self-talk on performance.
Join me in discovering the phrases that have become my personal mantras and how they can bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be in leadership. We’ll discuss self-reflection and transformation as we explore the discipline of "getting up, dressing up, and showing up" with determination.
This episode is not just about borrowing wisdom—it's about making it yours. Learn how integrating affirmations into your daily life can strengthen your mental resilience and enhance your leadership identity.
Whether you're inspired to revamp your morning routine with empowering mantras or face leadership challenges with newfound courage, I'm here to support your journey.
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlindmitchell/
One of the things that has been a game changer for me in my business is realizing that the thoughts that I tell myself ultimately become beliefs that I have about myself. And so, with that frame of reference in mind, I set out to come up with some really powerful words or phrases that I wanted to bring into my life to help kind of fill any deficits or gaps that I had in my leadership or who I was as a person and how I'm showing up in the world. So in today's episode, I'm going to share with you the five phrases that I repeat to myself on a consistent basis that have had a profound impact on my own leadership, and I'm going to invite you to think about what deficits maybe you have in your own leadership or your own life that you want to figure out some words or phrases that you can adopt and start to embed into your daily thought patterns, thought processes, so that they ultimately become new beliefs that you have about yourself. All right, let's go ahead and dive into today's episode. So I'm going to start this episode by talking about sports. Surprise, surprise. If you don't know this about me already, sports and athletics are a huge part of my life. I'll be, I'm sure, tying in athletics always on the podcast. So if you're not super into sports, that's okay. I think there's still great metaphors and analogies for the things that we're going to be talking about here, and there are just so many parallels between athletics and business.
Speaker 1:So in the world of sports there are some amazing athletes that exist, right. They're not just super skilled but they're also incredibly tough mentally. I'm talking about people like Michael Jordan. If you've seen the last dance on Netflix with him, it really goes into just kind of how he approached basketball as a player and the type of player that he was and the type of person that he was. And I think about how he showed up in so many of those instances where he had the mental toughness and the fortitude and the courage and the just self-awareness and belief that he was the guy when the ball's, when the you know games on the line to give him the ball, and he was the one who wants to shoot that game when he'd shot right. Talk about being confident in yourself that I'm the guy give me the ball right. And then you also have someone like Joe Montana. I think about how he was constantly cool under pressure, right the title of that Peacock series on him.
Speaker 1:And if you haven't watched either of these, I think they're super fascinating watches from a business owner and leadership perspective because you start to see, like what is it about these people, these incredible athletes, that makes them stand out from the rest? I mean, joe Montana goes into the game as this, like you know, fourth string quarterback or whatever he was. I'm probably butchering that story and that's not probably totally accurate, but he goes in and he just crushes it because he loved the game, because he had a good mental attitude about it. It's just really interesting to watch these incredible athletes, not about their talents but how strong and tough they are mentally. You know, I remember watching another Netflix show I can't remember the name of the series, but it was Swamp Kings and it was with Urban Meyer and you know University of Florida and Tim Tebow and all of that stuff and they won the national championship. And then you kind of start to watch Urban Meyer fall apart as he tells the story of what happened over his years at University of Florida and it was just really fascinating to me to kind of watch his mental capacity to handle the situation start to deteriorate and he talks you through that and I would invite you to go watch that too, and it's just such a fascinating story and it makes you just realize the power of our thoughts that become our beliefs.
Speaker 1:And you know, these great athletes, I think, are incredible examples of that even when things get tough, to still stay focused, to be able to handle the pressure. What are the differences between these people and others? You know they don't let setbacks get them down. Whether they're facing challenges or high pressure moments, they stay calm. They believe in themselves. You know, it's not always just about winning, necessarily all the time, it's about their mental strength. That helps them perform their best, no matter what.
Speaker 1:And I even remember I'll talk about my dad. I'm sure a lot on this podcast, but I even remember my dad growing up when we'd go to basketball. He'd drive me to my basketball games and drive me to basketball practice or whatever, and he would just talk to me about mental toughness. Mental toughness, you know, that's what wins the game. Like, you got to stay mentally tough all the time and I didn't really get it until 20 years later. 25 years later, I'm like, oh, now I understand what he was saying, but it really is an incredible impact on your business your ability, as the leader, to be mentally tough, because there's the opposite of players like Joe Montana or Michael Jordan or the greats watching players fall apart, like I was talking about with Urban Meyer.
Speaker 1:But if you watch athletes do this, they can't handle it mentally. There's this great Netflix series called breakpoint and it's about tennis players and I'm watching. You know some of the behind the scenes of these players and why they're not winning, and you hear them talk about the beliefs that they have about themselves and it's like no wonder they're not winning. They can't mentally handle the situation that they're being presented with. They get in their heads about things, they overthink things, they ruminate on the negative and all of this stuff.
Speaker 1:And golf is just golf, and tennis are perfect examples of this, I think, because they're single sport, single player sports. We're just one player out there. You don't have your team to like lift you up or support you or rally around you, like you're on the court by yourself. You're on the course by yourself. Granted, you do have a caddy if you're playing golf, but you can literally watch a player completely fall apart in front of your eyes the moment that they get into their heads, like you know, when it happens and as a spectator, you just continue to watch it worse and worse and worse and worse. However, when you're watching players like Nadal or players like Tiger, back in the day, a lot of them can turn it around and rise to the occasion and get out of their heads. You know, you hear that all the time in sports get out of your head, get out of your head, get into your body and I just I think it's really fascinating the parallels between this and being a leader and being a business owner and taking your business's vision to the next level.
Speaker 1:Because I'll tell you what really got me thinking about this, not just watching these documentaries, which I highly suggest everybody goes and do does, but I was watching another documentary about the Kelsey brothers. It was really about Jason Kelsey, who's the center for the Philadelphia Eagles it's a football team and it got me thinking about how his brother, travis Kelsey, who plays for the Chiefs he's the tight end for the Chiefs. They are the both like these incredible NFL players and I'm like huh, that's so interesting, like I wonder what it was about, how they were brought up. I wonder how their parents raised them, that both of these guys are incredible athletes at the highest level. It's one thing to be skilled, it's one thing to be a great athlete, but I think to get to that level it just takes a different type of person, a different type of belief. And then I was uncovering more greats. I'm like, okay, well, there's Serena and Venus, right and tennis. There's Peyton and Eli Manny, you have Clay Thompson and Michael Thompson and basketball and Seth Curry and Steph Curry. There are so many of these instances of these siblings excelling in professional sports and it really got me thinking like what is it that sets them apart? Is there something to be said about possible beliefs that were instilled in them from a young age in their households? I mean, I don't know, there's no research. I mean, maybe there's research. I didn't find anyone.
Speaker 1:I was looking online for this podcast episode but it made me think of this quote from Muhammad Ali that I think demonstrates what I'm trying to get out perfectly. He said I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was. I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest. I love that from Muhammad Ali and that got me thinking about what is the power of positive affirmations. If I wanted to operate like that, like these incredible athletes, like that's how I want to operate in the world, maybe that's how you want to operate in the world, in your own leadership too. And if you want to be great at that level, at that level of mental toughness and about that belief about self, that is far beyond average, because I don't know about you, but like I'm not doing average, like I want to be as great as possible and I want you to feel that way about yourself too. And so I knew, and hopefully you see, that we're going to need to create a new identity.
Speaker 1:Where we have deficits, where and what. These positive affirmations or phrases or words that you want to tell yourself on a daily basis, those thoughts start to shift your beliefs that you have about yourself in regards to those deficits. Now, before I tell you the five phrases that I use and give you a little habit trick that I use for how you can begin to instill these phrases or words in your own life, I just wanted to share this little snippet from an article from mentalhelpnet that breaks down positive affirmations, and they noted that the proven benefits of self affirmation include the following, a stronger sense of personal worth, less negative self talk, reduced anxiety and reduced defensiveness in challenging situations. What an incredible skill set to be able to have as the leader of your team. Imagine reduced defensiveness in challenging situations. That's what you face as a leader on a daily basis Difficult, challenging situations that require level-headedness, that require cool, that require calm under pressure. I didn't think about that Joe Montana under pressure song that they play all throughout that Peacock series with him. That's what you are going to be able to handle when we start to change these beliefs that we have about ourselves through positive affirmations, not to say that that's the only way to go about doing that. Of course, there are a variety of other things that can come into play that might require help from a therapist. I'm just talking about surface level. If we can start to do one thing that's different, let's start to bring positive affirmations into our lives as leaders.
Speaker 1:According to an article in Forbes, positive affirmations can be a reminder of resilience and combat anxiety and stress, to improve stress management by facilitating effective problem solving. I don't know about you, but I want that as a leader. Why not try incorporating positive affirmations into your daily life as a leader? To me. The benefits are there. It's not going to hurt you, it's going to help you.
Speaker 1:I want to give you the five phrases, or slash words, that I repeat to myself on a daily basis as a leader. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I start every morning with my favorite phrase that I got from my dad get up, dress up, show up, get up, dress up, show up. This helps me a ton when I have zero desire to get out of bed in the morning at 5 am to go to the gym before I start my day. If you haven't listened to episode three all about fitness and leadership I highly suggest you go back and listen to this one, because I speak into this a lot about the power of doing that, of creating this discipline habit, and I kind of sing this to myself as well. I'm like get up, dress up, show up. Don't judge the singing situation there. So I'm laying in bed. I absolutely do not want to move. Perhaps this is you in the morning and I take a big deep breath and I say get up, dress up, show up. I throw the covers off and I like rip the bandaid off and get out of bed. In fact, I even did it this morning.
Speaker 1:I am currently in New Orleans at a mastermind retreat right now and we are it's two hours ahead here, right, it's central standard time compared to Pacific standard time. I met one of the gals at the gym this morning at seven, which is really five California time and I didn't fall asleep last night until one. My alarm went off at six 30 to go meet her, and I could have done I almost actually did send her a message and say, hey, I'm not going to make it out, I need to sleep. But then I was like F that that is not what I'm here to do. I'm here to be disciplined. I'm here to keep those discipline habits. I'm not going to let this be vacation, this mastermind, this retreat, throw me off from the person that I want to be said to myself get up, dress up, show up, throw off the covers, get into this gym. And I'm telling you I am so glad that I did, cause, if I really need to, I can take a nap later today and I'll be fine, right.
Speaker 1:What I love about this one too, about get up, dress up, show up is it's helping me develop this habit of getting up early and of doing the things that most people aren't willing to do. Most people are not willing to do that, I guarantee you, most people would have slept in their bed and gone back to sleep for an hour. But I am not out here to try to be like most people and I'm assuming, because you're listening to this podcast, you are not out here to be like most people either. Right? It's so much easier to just turn off your alarm, say I'll go to the gym tomorrow, I'll do it later today, and then, evidently, what happens? You don't Right. So now you're creating evidence for yourself that you're not the type of person that you want to be, right. So this phrase for me and I hope for you if you choose to take this into your life, it creates a differentiator between me, and not just the competition, but me today and the me of the past. I am showing myself in real time how I am different on a daily basis Get up, dress up, show up, all right.
Speaker 1:The second one that I do all the time that I utilize is yes, it's hard and I 100% can do this. I can't remember if I've talked about this on the podcast before. I'm almost positive that I have, but my husband and I went to a therapy situation for helping our son with anxiety, and one of the things that she suggested that we say to our kids who have anxiety is yeah, it's hard. Like I believe you 100%, this is hard and I 100% know that you can do this. And so we started saying that to our son will, and at the dinner table every single night, as a family, we go around the table and we say you know our favorite thing from the day, but then we also say what was one thing that was really hard for you today, but you did it anyways. And so we're instilling this behavior, this habit in our family of, yeah, I can do hard things, yeah, it's hard and I can still do it, and that I use this in a variety of situations when I'm struggling with, you know, a thought around the business, whatever it might be, that's coming up for me, that's making me feel nervous or fearful of the future, and I just say, yeah, it's hard and I 100% can do this.
Speaker 1:The other time that I told it to myself flying out here from San Francisco to New Orleans oh my God, the turbulence was so bad on the plane and I am not a great flyer. That is something that I'm working on, on adopting a new identity. So I probably the way I even said I'm not a great flyer is not helpful in adopting that new identity. But the turbulence was really bad and I just kept saying to myself, yes, this is hard for you and yes, you 100% can do it. And I really had no option because I'm on the plane Like there's nowhere for me to go except be able to handle it and deal with it. So just repeating that to yourself like, yeah, you can do this, yeah, it's hard. So it's acknowledging the fact that it's difficult for you and it's acknowledging the fact that, even though it's difficult, you also still 100% can do it.
Speaker 1:Another thing that I love, another quote that I wanted to share with you guys. Number three is I say to myself in some capacity like I'm untouchable or I am unbothered by this and I love these. This one, I kind of put them together because I kind of use them interchangeably. And I love this one because my goal is to live a life where no one else is responsible for my happiness. Only I am. No circumstances, no people, no things that someone says, no things that someone does to me is responsible for me being happy that solely comes from within. And so I'm reading a book right now where the author of the text says no one has the power to rob you of your happiness unless you give that power to them.
Speaker 1:And I think about this from a customer service perspective, from a team perspective, from a variety of relationships perspective, because this is allowing you, as a leader of your team, to not let things emotionally impact you that could perhaps skew your response to something. So an example of this would be we got an email a couple of, I would say, like a month ago at this point, from a customer and it was after a live event that we did and it is very positive and reassuring and we can do hard things and kind of all of the things that I share with you guys. And she wrote us an email and she was feeling kind of unsure about whether or not, like she was quote unquote, drinking the Kool-Aid of our rah rah you can do this like remember your why story that we were sharing, which I think is really powerful to be able to give that to somebody of remember your why. And I wrote her back a great response because it didn't offend me. I was untouched by that.
Speaker 1:I was unbothered by her response because it didn't mean anything to me. Her saying that was not going to take anything away from my happiness. But I was going to be able to support her in how she was feeling about a certain situation by responding from a place of love, by responding from a place of gratitude, not a place of fear, not a place of I can't believe she would say that not a place of being angry or whatever it might be. But instead I just wrote her back and I said something to the effect of the two perspectives that she was sharing with us is both can be true at the same time. It's not this either, or world that we live in. It's a both and world.
Speaker 1:And I said if drinking the Kool-Aid, to your point, as long as it's not harmful to anybody and it's not right, we're just talking about the power of positivity and positive affirmations and believing in yourself and all of that stuff, as long as it's not harmful to anyone and it's making you happy, who cares? You know, and I just think that that's such a great reminder that so often we are impacted by the things that we see around us. We are not unbothered by things. We are not untouched by things, and the more that I can remove myself from situations that really have nothing to do with me, that really, at the end of the day, are not about me at all, the happier I am, the more peaceful I am, and what I love about this, too, is that, in operating from this perspective, you are taking radical responsibility for your life. We're no longer a victim to our circumstances. We're no longer a victim to what people say to us, what people say about us.
Speaker 1:No one else is responsible for our happiness, and if you can be unbothered by things, you will be clearheaded to make better decisions for the business, to make better decisions for your team, to have conversations with your team that are hard but from a place of love, as opposed to being pissed at somebody about doing something that you didn't want them to do or not meeting your expectations. If you're unbothered by things or unimpacted by things or untouched by things, it allows you to have a conversation from a place of peace, from a place of love, from a place of support, and, at the end of the day, that's a much better, happier way to go about your business as a leader of your team and as just a person in this world. So I'll constantly say to myself I'm untouchable, I am unbothered by this and I am not all the time like let's be real, there's still a ton of work to do. But when it comes to the business, most things really, quite frankly, don't bother me, and that's a pretty neat spot to be in compared to where I was a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1:All right, the other thing that I offered to myself number four is I constantly say be willing to do what others aren't. This morning, when I got out of bed and I did not want to get out of bed that's what I told myself to be willing to do what others aren't. I love this, also for when things are scary, for when things feel big, for when things feel like the next big step in business or kind of like. Am I going to take this risk or not? I like to say like be willing to do what others aren't. And I don't mean to say like be willing to do what others aren't in terms of people who've gone before us, who've built successful businesses. I'm talking about the people who maybe are in our space or who are competitors in our space, or whatever it might be. What am I willing to do that they aren't willing to do? What am I willing to do in my leadership that maybe they aren't willing to do?
Speaker 1:Most people aren't willing to be self-reflective of who they are as a leader. Most people aren't willing to sit there and think about, hey, maybe I'm the problem, maybe I'm the reason the business is not successful. Most people aren't willing to do that and that's a differentiator that you can have. That's going to make you a better leader. Because really, self-awareness is key to being a great leader, because if you don't even know your deficits, hell, I don't know what you're going to do. You've got to be able to identify the problem first. And if you're the problem and you're willing to identify that when other people are not, that's just going to set you apart from the competition. Most people aren't willing to take risks. Most people aren't willing to do the hard things. Most people are not willing to be consistent, most people are not willing to be disciplined. The list goes on and on and on. That's just the reality.
Speaker 1:So for me, with this phrase and hope for you too, with this phrase you think about what's going to set you apart from others in your own leadership or in your decision-making filter. This one is key. Ok, I saved my favorite for last. My favorite word that I say to myself all the time and actually that I say out loud now has become a habit of mine is receive. That was my word for 2023. I will continue to utilize it in my life. It has been such a beautiful gift, and if you adopt this word or this way of being into your life too, I would love for you to let me know the remarkable impact that it has on you, and I want to just tell the story about where this word came from, because I think it's important. The story is important for the sake of understanding that you could have one conversation with someone at one point in time that could literally change the trajectory of your life. So I was.
Speaker 1:I think I was interviewing with James Wedmore for his mastermind in 2022, for the 2023 mastermind, and if you know me at all and if you don't, I'm very much a go-getter, very much like a masculine push, intense energy. Maybe you've gotten that from the podcast so far. That's just how I've always operated in the world, enneagram 8, I'm intense. And Wedmore said to me he goes. I wonder what it would look like if, for the next year, you were just kind of incorporating the feminine, receiving energy, where it's not always like pushing after things, but like you're allowing to receive things to come into your life. And I was like, huh, that's really interesting, because what that does is it creates this world of harmony where you have both. You have both the masculine and the feminine working together. I think there's something to be said about both sides existing simultaneously and the beauty that that can create for us in our lives.
Speaker 1:And so all of last year, I was super conscious of using this word all the time, and for me, the behavior and habit of that started with being at the gym and I would say to myself receive the pain, receive the pain of the Bulgarian split squat that I'm doing when I don't feel like I can actually push anymore. Instead, I've switched my brain to say receive this, it's serving you. Receive this, it's changing you. Receive this, it's a gift. That's one instance where I say it, and it's really easy to do that and to remember to do that at the gym, because it's a physical thing that I'm doing and it happens all the time, so I'm practicing it on a consistent basis.
Speaker 1:But the other place that I receive, that I do this to is if someone gives me a compliment, I will say thank you so much, I receive that. Or if someone wants to pay for dinner for me as opposed to splitting the bill with my friend or constantly be like no, I got it, no, I got it, or whatever I will say thank you so much, I receive that. Because what I am doing is I'm allowing myself to receive, and from a place of awareness, the abundance that is being given to me in my life. And I love this word for everybody and I would love for you to start to try to incorporate that into your vocabulary, into your life. If someone gives you a compliment, so I say oh, no, like you know, we always, we all, shake it off. No, like receive that compliment. Or if something comes into your life, the universe gives you a beautiful thing, receive that, say thank you so much, I receive that. And because what you're saying to the universe, to others, is that you are someone who is willing and able to receive abundance, as opposed to blocking it and pushing it away from you. So receive is my favorite cherry on the top, best word that I use all the time. So to repeat them and I have more for you, so don't go away from this podcast episode.
Speaker 1:There are a couple of things at the end that I want to touch on too, but number one is get up, dress up, show up. Two yes, it's hard and I 100% can do this. Number three I am untouchable, or I am unbothered by this, but I typically say like I am untouchable. Number four be willing to do what others aren't. So that comes up when it's hard, when things are difficult, when things are tough, when I want to really set myself apart from the competition and then receive, is number five.
Speaker 1:So what you think about for yourself, you know where are your deficits that you'd like to work on in your own leadership, and how can you adopt a new word or a new phrase as a positive affirmation to begin to build a belief about yourself around it. That's the important part is, you're not just saying these things to yourself. You're saying these things to yourself to create a belief about yourself. Right, like I really truly believe that I am untouchable, that I can do anything. I really believe that and I really believe that I'm going to be willing to do the things that other people aren't, because I tell myself this all the time, on a daily basis, and I think about the best way to kind of understand how this actually comes to fruition in our lives is through the following four stages that I've learned recently.
Speaker 1:You have stage one of unconscious incompetence. That's like we're not even aware of our deficit. We don't even know that we're the problem, and if you don't know that you're probably the problem. Just kidding, but like also not really so unconscious incompetence we're not even aware. Well then, once we become aware of like, oh my gosh, I am the problem where this deficit of mine is an issue that I want to work on, you move then into conscious incompetence. So you are aware of it, but you're still incompetent in that specific area of your life, that specific deficit that you have. Well, now that you're aware of it and you know what it is, well, now you can start to do something about it. And once you start to do something about it and practice these thoughts or practice behaviors around that thing, that deficit, then you move into conscious competence. So you are consciously ensuring that you are practicing this thing right. That's where it becomes like I am working on including this language into my daily basis. That's the beginning of the year last year for me. Where I was received was my word. I was being super intentional with it, right, constantly saying it to myself, putting it on certain places to remind myself, to receive all the time. Well then, ultimately, we move into the last stage, which is unconscious competence. So, ultimately, this thing that we had as a deficit, that we've been working on to solve or to fix or to change that habit or that way of being, now simply becomes this new way of existing in the world. And we can all go through these four stages in a variety of instances, in a variety of places in our lives. So unconscious incompetence moves to conscious incompetence, moves to conscious competence and then, ultimately, unconscious competence. That is possible for every single one of you.
Speaker 1:The easiest tip and this is where I will leave for today the easiest tip for incorporating this into your life, or incorporating positive affirmations or phrases, or whatever word or phrase that you want to bring into your own life, is to associate each one with a specific thing that you do or going to be doing every day. So, for example, get up, dress up, show up. That happens every single morning, every single morning, and, if you needed, you could even put it on your alarm, where you can name your alarm. You could name your alarm, get up, dress up, show up. So you're seeing it all the time. That happens every single morning. So I am associating this new thought, this new phrase, with an action that I do every day. So my alarm goes off and boop, I say to myself get up, dress up, show up.
Speaker 1:The other thing, with as an example that I could say, is like receive. So you say thank you, I'm sure all the time and you might not say this at you know, when you're out to dinner, when the waiter brings you or the server, rather, brings you a water or something, but you could say thank you or receive that to just practice it. But if someone gives me a compliment or someone gives me advice or somebody gives me feedback on anything, I say thank you so much or receive that. And I also love that because I want them to know like I have received what you've said, like I've actually absorbed it and taken it in. I'm not just saying thanks and then not actually taking into consideration what you just shared with me, right? So you want to associate the word or phrase with an action that you are already doing or plan to begin doing, and I think that's the kind of easiest place to start.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I have five that I do on a daily basis, that I tell myself all the time, but maybe you only start with one. Pick one and choose one of mine. You know, if you want to start adopting a habit of getting up early and working out which, if you listened to episode three, I really suggest that you do take that one. Take get up, dress up, show up. Oh, I love that one. It makes you get out, get up, dress up, show up. Right, you are telling yourself just how you're going to operate in the world in a different way that day than most people are willing to do.
Speaker 1:So, whatever it is that you do decide, I would love for you to share with me over on Instagram or, caitlin D Mitchell, send me a direct message. One I would love to know which one of these five is your favorite, and two I would love to know which one are you going to start taking into your life and incorporating on a daily basis, or did you come up with a new one that you're going to use as well? All right, you guys. Thanks so much for joining me and I will see you on the next episode.
