The Caitlin Mitchell Show
After nearly a decade in business, it's time for me to share what I've learned about building a business focused on service leadership to help you on your journey as a business owner. My goal is for you to walk away from each episode with one thing - one sentence, one thought, one perspective shift, one new idea - that has an impact on you, your business, or your life.
The Caitlin Mitchell Show
How to Have Difficult Conversations with Underperforming Team Members | Ep 12
Navigating the choppy waters of team performance issues can be daunting for any leader, but with the right approach, it can also be incredibly rewarding. Drawing from my own leadership journey, I walk through what it truly takes to turn these challenging scenarios into opportunities for growth. Picture a thriving fish tank, disrupted by one unwell fish - that's how sensitive team dynamics can be. In this frank discussion, I impart the necessity of handling performance concerns with a blend of empathy and decisiveness, emphasizing the leader's pivotal role in fostering a culture where problems are addressed constructively and promptly.
As we steer through our conversation, I underscore the significance of preparation and specificity when approaching performance conversations. By equipping yourself with concrete examples and an awareness of potential root causes, you can transform difficult discussions into clear pathways for improvement. I'll share insights on how to effectively use core values as a compass during these dialogues and the importance of maintaining emotional composure. Timeliness is key, and so is a fearless, loving leadership style that champions each team member’s journey to success within the organization.
We will also tackle the complex emotions surrounding employee terminations. Handled with care, these moments can serve as catalysts for future alignment, both for the individual and the company. Reflecting on my own experience of being let go, I discuss how a well-managed termination can be a critical turning point, offering grace and encouragement. It's not just about the end of a chapter; it's about how we, as leaders, can facilitate a transition with dignity and respect, always aiming for the collective pursuit of excellence. Join me as we navigate these turbulent but transformative leadership waters together.
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlindmitchell/
Welcome back to another episode. You guys, I am very much looking forward to diving into this topic. This is something that comes up time and time again in my mastermind when working one-on-one with my clients, comes up for me with my team, and I'll tell you right now, even in just the four years that I've had employees and staff, I've had my fair share of these types of conversations. I've had my fair share of having to let people go and, as hard as it is, it is a part of your role as the leader of the team is having difficult conversations with people on your team, but really with the goal of helping them become better, and I think that that's kind of the key and we'll dive into that in this episode is ensuring that you're coming from a place of love, like, look, the only reason we're having this conversation is because I want you to be the best that you can possibly be in this role, if this role is what you really actually want to do, and I am here to be your coach, to coach you up and help you do that. And people are going to rise to the occasion and some people are not going to rise to the occasion, and that's where you're start to see of who do I really want on my team, who do I really want to go to the next level with me? And one of the things that I always want to make sure that I just keep in mind when I head into these types of difficult conversations is that I'm the leader, I'm the boss, and so my emotional response, the way in which I handle this conversation, the energy that I bring to this conversation, is directly going to impact the way that the conversation goes and how the conversation is either going to be successful or not. So I'm really looking forward to talking through this with you. I really hope that you walk away with something that is helpful from this episode that you can utilize when you inevitably go to have a difficult conversation with an employee regarding their performance.
Speaker 1:All right, let's go ahead and get started with the episode, all right? So I want to start with a brief overview of the importance of addressing performance issues promptly and constructively. So the first thing that I want to say is that you absolutely do not want to let frustration and resentment fester, because it is going to make the culture of your team worse the longer that you let it go on, and this is a you thing, right. This is 100% your responsibility as the leader of your team, because if you allow things to continue to go on, your team is going to start to feel the frustration with this particular person. They may themselves be frustrated with your leadership and management and handling of the problem that everybody sees, everybody knows and it's impacting your entire team's performance.
Speaker 1:So I love this metaphor of the sick fish in the tank and we want to make sure that if we have a sick fish in the tank, that we've got to nip it in the bud ASAP. There's this my friend Val, who's my trainer at my local gym. She was talking to us about how when you do a plank with other people, so you're all doing a plank together. Let's say it's a minute plank or two minute plank or whatever. As soon as one person falls to their knees, the next person falls and next person falls and it becomes this like domino effect of people giving up, of people not believing.
Speaker 1:And so I think about that in terms of our team is, if we have one bad apple, it can very much impact the entire bunch, and I'm not just talking about like we have a bad team member on our team that we've got a fire. I'm talking about someone on our team who, all of a sudden, is not meeting performance expectations, who all of a sudden, maybe has a bad attitude or is impacting the team or is coming at things the wrong way. We've got to address that immediately because of this particular concept is we don't want a B player or maybe they're an A player who's acting like a B player, or maybe they're an A player who, for whatever reason, is starting to perform at a C player level. We don't want that player bringing the rest of the team down. So it is up to us, it is our responsibility as leaders to make sure that we take care of this ASAP. So that's the first thing that I want to address is you've got to do it promptly.
Speaker 1:The other thing is that you want to address performance issues constructively. So when you come at these conversations with your team from a place of love, from a place of look, I'm just here to help you be the best version of yourself in this role. That is a different energy, that is a different way to go about having these conversations with your team, as opposed to being pissed, as opposed to being upset, as opposed to being frustrated because you let it go on for too long. So hopefully you're noticing kind of a trend here that it's a you thing If this has gone on for too long and it's this big, big problem. That's a you responsibility, 100% as the leader, and that's one of the things that I will always say that I live by, that I expect my mastermind, the women in my mastermind, to live by. That I expect my team to live by, is 100% radical responsibility. It is a you thing. And what's beautiful about that is when you realize it's a you thing, guess what? You have the capacity to change. You have the agency to start to make a difference.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now that we know we've got to address performance issues promptly and constructively, let's dive into like kind of how to go about doing this. So the first thing you want to do is you want to set the stage with the team before there ever is a problem. So I want you to have certain things in place and in the back of your mind before this is even an issue, before you even need to go down this path. And that might not be where you are right now, but maybe you're about to go have a difficult conversation, and now you've got to backtrack a little bit and start to change the culture within your company in order to be able to kind of meet these expectations and criteria that I'm going to set forth for you. So number one is you want to ensure, from the beginning of someone coming onto your team, that you have clear communication and you have clear expectations. If this is not in place, you've already got a problem. You're going to have performance issues. So are you clear in your communication? Are you clear in your expectations of what it means to be successful here, of what it looks like to have a 10 out of 10?
Speaker 1:You know, I think back to my days, my think back to my days long ago, when I was getting my undergrad degree. I was actually communications major and we learned all about interpersonal communication and interpersonal skills, and one of the things that I took away from that, and one of the things that my dad actually always says and if you listened to that podcast episode where I interviewed him is communication, communication, communication, communication, communication is key. You can never over communicate something to somebody. People appreciate that, people want to hear from you. So if you find yourself in a problem, you want to ask yourself did I clearly communicate no-transcript and did I have clear expectations from the beginning for this person? If you didn't guess who's problem that is, that's a you problem, right? I just I love that phrase, like there's, for so many reasons, radical responsibility is just God. I love it so much. Okay, so that's first thing, the importance of clear communication expectations from the beginning.
Speaker 1:The next thing that you want to have in place, before you even have a problem, is you want to have a culture of feedback and continuous improvement. You want to breed a culture in your company where you have feedback and continuous improvement as just a part of who you guys are and what you guys do, so that when you do have to have these conversations with people which is inevitable you're not like out of left field All of a sudden offending people, and people are upset because they're no longer meeting. You're like perfect. You know expectations of perfection, which, by the way, is not even a thing. What you want to have in place is that feedback is normal, that we are always looking to get better, that my job as your leader is to find areas for improvement. That's why we're here, that's why we do what we do. That is my job as the person who leads this team, and so with your team, you might even want to share just the analogy of sports. I think it's such a beautiful metaphor and parallel for so many things in business.
Speaker 1:But if you think about the greatest of the greats at any sport have a coach, and they have somebody who is constantly watching their form, who is constantly watching their attitude, who is constantly, whatever, working with them to help them be the best version of themselves as a player in that particular sport. If Curry has a coach, kobe Bryant still went to practice three times a day so that he could be the best. That is so like a paramount importance to communicate that to your team. Like, look, none of us are going to be perfect. I always want you to be improving. I do want to share feedback with you for how you can get better, and also I want that feedback, too, as the leader how can I lead you better? How could I have done a better job here? Because we want to be obviously the highest level of the example, of what we hold for our teams and anything that we expect of them. We need to do ourselves.
Speaker 1:But then the other thing with that, too, is they need to see us being humble of being like oh my God, I'm really actually not good at that. I didn't meet that deadline. I am so sorry. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me. I want to be the best version of myself. I'm going to myself. I'm going to make a commitment to you, going forward, that that is not going to happen anymore. But guess what? You got to follow through. You got to follow through. I know you're the boss, I know you got a lot of things going on, but if you are not doing that, they are not doing that. If you are not open to receiving feedback, they are not open to receiving feedback. So whenever I have my one on ones with my team, I actually invite that to the conversation. How can I support you better? Where are the gaps in my leadership where you don't feel like your needs are being met? I'm asking them these questions and they feel comfortable saying that to me because they know that one of my personal core values and one of the core values that are company at EB academics is being growth oriented. I want to know so that I can be better for you, and I'm going to tell you too, so that you can be better for the business I think about.
Speaker 1:I don't even know where this quote comes from. It might be from the Bible, I have no idea, but something about like iron sharpens iron. Sometimes we need to have tough love in order for people to be able to grow, and it's tough love from a place of true love. It is only in a place where you have psychological safety, where people love working for you, where they respect you as a boss, that you are able to have these types of conversations with people in a way that is helpful and not harmful to them. Okay, the next thing that you want to make sure that you have in place it just to you, this is a you thing, this is for you as a leader is you want to be able to start to recognize signs that, oh my gosh, maybe a difficult conversation is needed.
Speaker 1:And for me I'm not sure how I can relate this to you for you to be able to do on your own, but I have great intuition and I read people really well. I can see on their face through zoom that something's wrong, that something's a mess, that we need to have a conversation, and so, even when we're in like a small group together and we're talking about marketing teams together or whatever. I can see on somebody's face in that zoom, just through their little behaviors, that something's going on and I need to reach out to them. Maybe it's not necessarily a difficult conversation in that regard, but at least I am aware and I have the capacity and ability to see. I got it, I got to touch base with so and so, because it looks like they're hurting, it looks like something's going wrong, and so I want to make sure I have that conversation before it is even a conversation that needs to be had.
Speaker 1:So I want you to think about, in your own leadership, how can you start to be more aware of your team's nonverbal cues? They're nonverbal communication. You know communication is what like 95% nonverbal. Don't quote me on that. I don't know that that's true, but it's something remarkably high that we can pick up on those signs that something's going on and maybe, just maybe, we can have a conversation with them before their performance starts to drop. So, before there ever even is a problem, you want to make sure that you're doing those things within your business. All right, now let's talk about we have a problem, houston. We have a problem. It's time to go into this conversation. I got to figure out what to do. I got to figure out how to have this convo with this person.
Speaker 1:So number one is you want to be prepared as the leader going into this conversation. So what does that mean? What does that look like? Well, number one, you want to make sure that you have specific examples, that you have specific data, specific information regarding the performance issues or regarding the personal issues. Okay, and with the personal issues, this is a little bit tougher, right, like who they're being as a person versus their performance and what they're doing two different things.
Speaker 1:With the personal issues who they're being this is where your core values come into play. This is where you can use the core values to help you have those more difficult conversations about how they're showing up in the way that they're acting versus how they're showing up in the way that they are doing and executing on skills and tasks and performance. So I will say hopefully you have hired well for those innate qualities of who someone actually is, so that you are never in this position. But if you are, you really want to lean into those core values to be able to have loving, kind, caring conversations around. Let's say it's integrity. Let's say it's the wow factor. Let's say it's being growth oriented. Let's say it's radical responsibility. So you can use those core values as a lens through which to have this difficult conversation with somebody about how they are presenting themselves in a way that's not benefiting the team and in a way that's not benefiting, quite frankly, them in the role.
Speaker 1:So that's very important is you want to have specific examples, specific data about performance issues or about personal issues that they are having. You also want to identify the root cause of the problem, so you can start to look for what is the root cause of this issue? Is it your leadership, which, let's be honest, a lot of the times it is, which is fine because then you can change that. You just got to have the self-awareness to do that. Is it a lack of communication? Is it a lack of organization? Is it a lack of structure in terms of the processes that you have in place within your business? Is it even a them issue that you even need to have a conversation about their performance? Or is it a conversation with them that you need to have about the process in place that's impacting their performance? So it's really important that you identify what are the actual things, specific examples that are going on, and then what's the cause of that? And then, once you find that cause, what's the cause of that? So let me say, for example, deadlines are being missed, and you actually start to realize, oh my god, the root cause of those deadlines being missed is our process actually sucks. That we have in place it's not very clear. Whatever it might be, well then, what's the root problem of that? Well, the person who set it up didn't really know what was supposed to be done. Yada, yada, yada. Well, what's the root cause of that? So we're always kind of going back to what was the root cause of each effect that showed up in the business, and so it's helpful to go kind of back through that whole thing before you even sit down to have a conversation with this person.
Speaker 1:The other thing that you want to do while you're preparing to have this convo with this person is you want to anticipate potential reactions and you also want to have like kind of planned responses for yourself going into it. Because here's the deal like people are allowed to react however they're going to react, like you have to be okay with that, you have to give them that space to react in whatever way they're going to. But you get to be emotionally prepared to not be emotional. You cannot come into this emotional, angry, frustrated, all those things. There's this concept of defenselessness. You come into this conversation with defenselessness. There is nothing for you to defend. You are just here to help this person be better and, as the leader, it is paramount that if this person is upset, the last thing that they need from you is for you to match their energy, for you to be upset too. You absolutely get to show strong emotional intelligence and understanding that what you are saying to them might actually be really freaking hard for them to hear. So I want you to be prepared emotionally to not get emotional. You've got to leave your ego, your emotions, all that stuff in check. Leave it at the door. That does not have a place here in this conversation, when you're coming into this with love and you are coming into this conversation from defenselessness. So that's preparation beforehand.
Speaker 1:Well, now you're going to go into the conversation with this team member. You want to choose an appropriate time and setting. So, really, this came up at our mastermind retreat. They're like, well, can't I just do it in Slack? Well, no, you really really should be on Zoom or in person, if you can, at least on the phone at the very very least, with this person. The other thing in terms of the appropriate time is, you really want to make sure that you yourself and that they too, as much as possible, have the time and space to be present for the conversation and it isn't just like a rushed afterthought. And I also will say here that the sooner you do it, the better. It's like a bandaid, just get it done, just do it.
Speaker 1:So, if you have this person in your brain that you need to have this conversation with and you're like, I'll do it next week, do it tomorrow, have the conversation with them tomorrow. Because when you continue to put it off, it's because you're coming from a place of fear, and that is not leading from a place of love. That is leading from a place of fear, and when you always lead from love, it is just received so much better. You are so much more at peace with the way in which you handle conversations and because, if you think about it, the goal of this conversation is to be able to do it well. The goal here is to help this person be successful in your company, for both you and for them to win, for everybody to win. They win when they do better, the team wins when they do better, the business wins when they do better. Everybody wins when this conversation number one happens and number two goes well.
Speaker 1:So when you go into this conversation, you want to open the conversation with empathy and with understanding. You want them to know like look, this is difficult conversation for me to have, but if you let them know that this is coming from a place of just, you want them to be the best possible version of themselves in this role. You want to see them succeed. You are coming from that place of love, not a place of micro management or aggression or anger toward them. That's why you've got to do it sooner rather than later, so those feelings don't fester. And I will say here that if you are feeling that you have gone on for way too long to let that problem get to that point, and quite frankly and I say this with love that is a you problem. You did not take radical responsibility for this conversation and as much as that's hard to hear, think about why that's hard to hear for you, right, I always, just I always am so cognizant of my own thoughts, my own emotional responses to things like what is this saying about me? What is this saying about my beliefs that I have? Why am I impacted by that Right? And I, just I, go back to defenselessness. Like in my defenselessness, like my happiness lies, my peace lies, when I don't have this need to, like, defend myself to anybody, because I know that I'm coming from a place of love. I'm coming from a place of peace, like man, my life has just been so much better. I love that word. Total side note, like just adopt that word into your life. It is such a great way of being Okay. So open up the conversation with empathy and understanding.
Speaker 1:The other thing, while you're having this conversation with this employee, with this team member, is make sure that you are using clear and specific language to address the performance issues. So be very, very clear on exactly what the issue is. You can't just say something like well, you know you don't quite do what's expected. Well, what's expected what? What does that mean? Right, what does a 10 out of 10 success look like for them? How often is sometimes? Is this all the time? Is it a chronic problem has it only happened two or three times, but now you're concerned about a pattern emergent emerging.
Speaker 1:You want to be clear and specific as possible, and then you also want to make sure that during this conversation, you are taking the time to allow your employee to respond and to be sure that you are actively listening to the employee's perspective. So this is huge, because you absolutely want to be able to understand where your team member is coming from, like what are they going through? Is there something going on outside of their job that they're dealing with? Is there something internally that they're struggling through? Maybe they feel like they're not meeting your expectations and, because they are a certain way and have certain beliefs about themselves, now they feel worse and now they're showing up worse and they go down this downward spiral, right. So how can you show them empathy and love and understanding their perspective? Because look at the end of the day, we all know that there are two sides to every story. And then there's the truth.
Speaker 1:Give your team the benefit of the doubt and sometimes, when I go into this conversation, depending on what's at play, who, it is a lot of different factors. I might even open the conversation by saying talk to you about what's going on, how are you feeling about your role? How are you feeling about your contributions? Do you have any concerns? And honestly, nine times out of 10, they know what I'm going to say anyways, they say it before I even have to. So I love actually opening like that, because it helps us be on the same page from the beginning. They know, I know let's solve it. And also, when we open up the conversation that way, it might show us this employee actually has no self-awareness as to what's going on. Well, that's kind of cool, because now I get to teach this person about self-awareness, about having the capacity to reflect, to think back to their performance, which is a whole other ballgame when it comes to coaching our team.
Speaker 1:I think there was one other thing that I wanted to say about actively. Oh, the other thing that I want to say that I've learned in my undergraduate degree in communications and also just being a teacher, is you want to repeat back to them what you heard them say. So let's say that they are struggling with deadlines. It's easy, let's just go with that. They're struggling with deadlines and they're not meeting their deadlines, and you say something to them like I've noticed that the past couple of times that the emails have gone out, you've missed the deadlines and it hasn't gotten done in time. Can you talk to me about what's going on? And they're going to tell you their side of the story. Well, you need to repeat back to them what you heard. So that is as simple as saying what I hear you say is that X, y and Z is going on. Is that correct? And they're going to tell you yes or no.
Speaker 1:So by repeating back to them what I hear you saying is, you're showing them that you're actively listening. You're showing them that you care about what they have to say and they are feeling heard and validated, so that this is a two-way street where we are working together to solve and identify and solve for this problem the other thing that's a part of this conversation. So, after you've really kind of nailed the problem on the head, you have clear, specific language on what the performance issue is. You give your employee or team member time to respond. You actively listen to their perspective. You repeat back to them what you heard them say. You now want to get to a point where you can collaborate on solutions and you can set actionable goals for them. So, once you are both in agreement on what it is that gets to be changed, this is where the rubber actually meets the road.
Speaker 1:So I've always put into place like a 30-day action plan, however long you'd like. I've used 30 days in the past. It's always worked for me. What I love about 30 days is it gives them enough time to actually make a change, but not too long that you forget to follow up or make sure that their performance is actually back on track. And this is helpful too, because they know over these next 30 days, you're going to be here providing constructive feedback and offering support for them. So this isn't one of those things where you have this conversation. You're like you need to get better at these things. I'm giving you 30 days to do it. Good luck, it's no, I am here to coach you and that's where we set these goals.
Speaker 1:Well, now you get to show up as a true leader. This is really where you know they're working towards improvement. It is paramount for you to provide them with that support, with that feedback, so that they know that you actually care and that you are there to support them. There is nothing worse than having this meeting telling them to change and then you peace out and you're not present. You want to think of yourself like a coach, because really, at the end of the day, like that's what you are. You are their coach. You are here to help them be the greatest version of themselves in this role.
Speaker 1:And what's actually kind of cool about this is, when you do this for your team, they see you in a different light. You see yourself in a different light. There's a level of respect, there's a level of they don't want to let you down and disappoint you. If they really are meant for this role and you're going to find out, like does this person actually want to really be here? And I'll tell you right now, like there was a very specific person on our team loved, absolutely loved this employee and they were not meeting performance expectations. Had this conversation with them twice and still just could not quite get there. And at the end of the day, what the problem was is they weren't fulfilled in their role. They had other, bigger dreams for their life.
Speaker 1:And so, putting them through this 30 day performance review me being there with them, trying to coach them, trying to help them and both of us realizing like look, this is not the best place for you. I think it's time for you to go and not just like go as in, like leave the company. I think it's time for you to go and go do what you actually want to do with your life and like what a gift that we get to give to people in the encouragement, in the support when they make the hard decision or I make the hard decision to say goodbye to this person. They have my unwavering support in that, because they know that I care, they know that I care about them, they know that I care about their happiness, they know that I care about their success. And if I don't, who am I as leader? How am I showing up? Am I really doing what I'm supposed to be doing as the steward of the vision for the company that I have?
Speaker 1:And the other thing that I will say when it comes to providing constructive feedback and offering support as kind of like, the last thing that gets put into play here is when things are going well. Let's say you've had this conversation, 30 day action plan, they're ready to go, you're ready to go, things are going well. You got to tell them. You absolutely want to make sure that you are recognizing this, you are seeing their progress and that you are proud of them, and one of the things that I will say is sometimes they won't, sometimes they will not have progress, sometimes they will continue to have those same problems show up over and over again and they're not seeing the growth and the progress that you want them to see. And you realize, look, I've done everything that I can, I've put all my cards on the table, I fixed all the processes, problems, all the things in the business. What you're uncovering now is somebody who isn't fulfilled in their role, who is not maybe doing what they're supposed to be doing in this life. And I'm being like very serious about this that perhaps the best thing that you can do for them is to have a conversation about letting them go.
Speaker 1:And in every conversation that I've had recently about saying goodbye to people that who have been with us for a while, for a longer period of time, and then just all of a sudden just aren't performing the way that they had in the past is, this is from a place of love. If you really really wanted to be here, this job was fulfilling for you, you loved it. We would be able to solve for these problems, you would be able to show up in the way that the business demanded of you, because if you love something, man, you show up for that thing. If you feel like you are living in your purpose doesn't feel like work. It's so much easier for you to live up to the expectation that other people have of you.
Speaker 1:And so when I ultimately with if this doesn't go well and I am in a place where now I have to let somebody go, I look at it from a perspective of I'm not firing somebody, I am releasing them into the world to go do what perhaps they were put on this earth to do, and it is the greatest gift that I can give to them to no longer be holding them back in the job that they don't love. That is not fulfilling their purpose. And I'll be honest with you I've been fired, I think, only once. I think I don't have another example. I was fired once from a job. I was a hostess at a restaurant actually, where I met my husband, and they fired me. Long story short, but basically I stood up for something that I thought was unethical and the next day they let me go.
Speaker 1:And I look back on that moment and I just think about like what a gift that was, and at the time I could not see it as such, and I kind of always tell my team that or an employee that when I'm letting them go of like, look, I've been let go before and I remember feeling how perhaps you're feeling right now, and when I look back on that chapter in my life, it was one of the greatest things that I ever received. And so, as hard as this might be right now, I hope that some point in the future you will see this moment as the moment that changes your life. Because let me just say one other thing about this before I kind of tie things up and I'm going a little bit off tangent, but I think it's important If we are letting somebody go who really actually wanted the job, who really actually wanted to be here, but they are just not meeting performance expectations, this will be the greatest lesson that they ever receive that if you really actually want something, you got to show up as though you actually want something. You can't half-ass anything, especially if you want to work for an A plus team at a company that's doing big things. You can't come to work late. You can't do things incomplete, you can't be late for certain things, et cetera. And I'm thinking of a very specific person that was very difficult to let her go and when she wanted to come back and I was like, look, this is going to be the greatest lesson you will ever get, because you will never do this again. You had a job that you loved, you had a job that you wanted and you still didn't show up the way that the business asked of you and demanded of you. So next time, when you go out for another job in the future which I am more than happy to support you in finding and doing and being successful there, because my goal, ultimately, is for you to be happy and for you to be successful I guarantee you that that person will not make that same mistake again, because they saw what happens when they do, and I just I look at it from that point of view when I do have to let somebody go. Okay, that was a total side note, but I think it's important and hopefully you walked away with something valuable there.
Speaker 1:So the last thing that I want to point out before we tie things up is in handling emotional responses. I said this at the beginning, and I'll wrap up and say it again you 100% have to manage your own emotions during the conversation. I remember the first time I did have to let somebody go. I practiced exactly what I was gonna say like a hundred times in the mirror and I got to a point where my emotions were as removed as possible at that time from that conversation.
Speaker 1:But if you are feeling any certain kind of a way, you really don't want to show that in this conversation, because you really get to be the steady, reliable, just calm source of energy throughout the conversation, because your employee that you're talking to might need you to be able to hold the space for them to be angry, for them to be upset, for them to be frustrated, because if you think about it and someone comes to you and says, hey, you're not really doing this that well, that might be hard to hear and, granted, you're not gonna say it like that, but it might be difficult for them and it's possible that you have a contentious person on your hands that you're dealing with and you need to not rise to the level of their energy. You get to stay calm, you get to take deep breaths, you get to keep your heart rate down and you get to validate their feelings and concerns because, to them, that's their perspective, that's their truth, even if that's not what you see, that's what they see and so to them, that is their reality. And so, even if you don't agree, you can still validate their feelings and concerns. But if they start to go off track, you can absolutely and should redirect them back to the conversation of the issue at hand. What is the specific thing that you are addressing? The specific issue, the specific data that you have that you need to address with this particular employee.
Speaker 1:And then the last thing that I will say is like, I like to end this conversation with this person of like. Look, at the end of the day, I want you to be happy, I want you to be successful. That's why I'm having this conversation, and if I didn't care and I didn't think you had it in you and I didn't want you to be successful, I wouldn't be having this conversation at all, I would not be reaching out to you, but, like, that's my job, that's your job as the leader of your team. So I hope that this was helpful for you Next week. I know you guys had said you wanted more information on exactly how I structure my performance reviews. So I'm gonna go through, like the questions that I ask and all of those things next week as well.
Speaker 1:But this is one of those kind of more difficult, tenuous things that happen for us as business owners is that we get to address these types of problems. So if you didn't find this helpful, I would love for you to leave me a review on iTunes. I've got to tell you, reading your reviews is one of my favorite things. It like gives me the drive to continue to record the podcast episodes because, as you know, this was not like at the top of my list of having a podcast, but I've been loving it and I hope that you guys have been too, and that something that I'm saying is landing with you and if it is, you letting me know means the absolute world to me. So, whether or not that is review on iTunes or that's just reaching out to me on Instagram and telling me, that would be huge and you guys do so. Thank you to those of you who do reach out to me. All right, you guys have a great week and I'll see you next week on the podcast, where we're going to be talking about performance reviews.
