The Caitlin Mitchell Show
After nearly a decade in business, it's time for me to share what I've learned about building a business focused on service leadership to help you on your journey as a business owner. My goal is for you to walk away from each episode with one thing - one sentence, one thought, one perspective shift, one new idea - that has an impact on you, your business, or your life.
The Caitlin Mitchell Show
Communication Strategies for Clarity and Team Success | Ep 15
Discover the core principles of effective leadership and team dynamics by unraveling the intricacies of clear communication. Consider this scenario: despite your confidence in the clarity of your instructions, you're met with puzzled expressions or, worse, unintended outcomes. Throughout this discourse, we confront this challenge head-on while elucidating practical strategies to ensure the precision and purposefulness of your verbal expressions. Join me as we scrutinize the subtle nuances of communication that significantly influence leadership efficacy.
Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or trying to enhance personal connections, the art of communication is your golden key. We delve into the transformative power of active listening, the silent language of nonverbal cues, and the critical balance of emotional neutrality in even the most difficult conversations. Get ready to transform your communication approach and cultivate an environment where every word is not just heard but truly understood, propelling your team to unsurpassed collaboration and success.
Article mentioned in the episode: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/communication-benefits
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlindmitchell/
Well, hello you guys. Welcome back to another episode. I feel amazing my voice is finally fully back and I'm not sick, which is great. Today we are going to be talking about one of my favorite things, which is communication, and where seemingly clear communication gets lost in translation, and I think so many of us think that we're great communicators and in fact, you know, maybe we have some work to do, and this is something that I actually have my undergraduate degree in.
Speaker 1:I was a communication studies major. I took a variety of interpersonal communications classes and I think being a teacher for a decade also enabled me to really hone in my communication skills. You know, as a teacher, you have to be clear, you have to be an effective communicator, and it's something that you just really can learn and do improvements to, quite frankly, over time. You know, some of us are just inherently better communicators than others, but those of us that struggle with it, it doesn't mean that we can't, in fact, build on this skill ourselves. So today's episode, I'm going to share just three specific things that I think are going to help you. Just put some focus around your own communication, start to think about do I do this? And put attention on these things, because where we put our attention, where we put our intention, those things start to improve and we start to get better at them. So I hope that you walk away with some like post-it notes that you can put next to your computer, some just little sayings to just remind yourself of as prompts when you go to have conversations with your staff. But I think this episode is going to really serve you and if it does, let me know over on Instagram. Caitlin D Mitchell, I would love for you to send me a direct message to just let me know what's your favorite one of the three that I'm going to talk about in today's episode.
Speaker 1:So this particular episode actually came from the fact that I work with. You know, in my mastermind I have 12 women that I'm currently working with right now and, you know, one of the biggest frustrations that comes up over and over and over again is well, I communicated the expectations right, I communicated the intended outcome, but they still didn't do what I wanted right, meaning the employee or the staff member still didn't do what they had asked. And, of course, there's quite a bit that we could unpack with that particular statement, but I want to spend today's episode focusing on something that I think is going to benefit every single listener, and that is just. You know, most of us think we're doing a great job communicating when in fact, we actually aren't, and that's okay. I think the first step is self-awareness, just paying attention to if we hear this a lot well, I didn't know what you wanted, or I wasn't sure then we are not clearly communicating our expectations. We are not clearly communicating the information that that staff member needs. We are not clearly communicating the information that that staff member needs. We are just not doing as great of a job as our staff needs from us.
Speaker 1:And I think it's really important for us as leaders, as CEOs, to be role models of what effective communication looks like, because if we expect our staff to communicate effectively amongst each other and to us, we need to be the role model of what that looks like high expectations around communication. And, in fact, if you listen to the interview I did with my dad on episode five, my dad was the president of US Sports Nike Camps for decades and he worked there for 35 years, and one of the things that he mentioned over and over and over again in that episode was just how important clear communication is. So, even if you think you've already communicated it, communicate it again. People are so much more likely to be upset with you for not communicating than if you were to over-communicate. Now I'm not saying over-communicate to micromanage. I'm saying you're just overcommunicating and ensuring that what you are intending is actually what somebody hears. And I say this all the time. I mean think about just like interpersonal relationships spouses, friends, kids, what have you A lot of the times like people hear what they want to hear, regardless of what you actually said, based on all kinds of their own perceptions, based on their own things that they've got in their heads. So it's really important for us as leaders to ensure that we are being strategic in our clear and effective communication with our staff.
Speaker 1:So today I want to give you some ideas and strategies that you can incorporate into your team to hopefully start to improve communication. So, of course, right, there are numerous books, studies, strategies, approaches etc Like you name it on how to be an effective communicator. There's so much that goes into it Heck. Like I said at the beginning, I even have an undergraduate degree in communication studies. I spent four years in college studying communication Like there's a whole major simply to the study of this concept. So there's a lot that we could cover, but I just want to give you some simple tools and just kind of like awareness around these ideas that we're going to cover that you can start to implement. So hopefully you can see, you know, are you in fact really clearly communicating expectations or do you need to do some work on that of ensuring that you know intended outcomes, vision, et cetera to your team is actually what you are intending it to be? So I want to start by defining what effective communication is, and indeedcom actually published an article titled 10 benefits of effective communication is. And Indeedcom actually published an article titled 10 Benefits of Effective Communication in the Workplace, which, as an aside, I think is a great article for everybody to go read. If you would like to, I'll put that in the show notes for you guys. And Indeedcom defines effective communication as the following Effective communication in the workplace is when the exchanging of information and ideas is done so in an efficient and effective manner.
Speaker 1:Good communication involves not just relaying information but being able to explain it in a way that ensures the recipient understands you. And that last point is what is key being able to explain information, expectations, vision, outcome, whatever in a way that ensures that the recipient actually understands you? This is where I see a lot of CEOs, a lot of entrepreneurs, get stuck with their teams is they think that they are effectively communicating when they are not being clear with the information in such a way that their team actually understands what is being requested of them? And herein is where the frustration lies right and where a lot of problems with team performance can begin to go awry and like imagine what would potentially happen if your entire team was able to communicate in a clear and effective way. A lot of really awesome things because effective communication, it promotes teamwork, it promotes improved collaboration. You have increased productivity because everybody is clear on what they're supposed to do and what the expectations are. You also decrease conflict or problems that can stem from people not understanding one another.
Speaker 1:And this one is super, super important because we need clear communication when we're interacting with our customers, too. Right, think about when you've tried to work with, let's say, I don't know, a company that you've bought something from or a subscription that you have, and you've tried to communicate something to them and they respond and you're like wait, you did not. Clearly you didn't read my question, because that didn't even answer my question right. We don't ever want our customers to feel that way. So our staff, especially those that work with our customers in some sort of customer relations capacity, we want to make sure that they are super clear and effective communicators as well, and I've worked with people in the past where they were not effective communicators. I would have to say to them I'm sorry, can you say that in a different way? Because I didn't understand what you said, or they would say it again and I still could not comprehend what they were saying, and so we want to make sure that we are being very clear on explaining information that ensures that this recipient or our team understands what, in fact, we are saying to them. So I strongly believe, end of the day, that one of the most important traits of an effective leader is being an effective communicator, and it's a skill that you want to be able to teach to your team as well, all for the reasons that I just said. So I want you to think about. You know what are the things that I'm sharing with you in today's podcast episode. Can you take some of this back to your team and share it with them, in addition to you starting to kind of take on these different skills and start to practice them so that you can be a role model and then be able to coach your team up on these skills as well.
Speaker 1:And I once heard somebody say I think it was in my mastermind, actually that clarity is kindness, right. When we are clear with our team, we are able to promote a safe workplace, we are able to let people know what is clearly expected of them. They know what to expect. It's just so much better for everybody, and this is not just like for the workplace. I want you to think about this in your life in general. As somebody who is potentially married to somebody or has a partner who has children, I always tell my husband the biggest problems lie in unmet expectations that were never communicated in the first place. And so if you are not communicating, how can you expect me to even know that you're going to be upset at me about that, right? So clear communication is kindness. So here are the simple ways that you can start to improve your own communication as a leader and then also help your team improve their own communication skills as well.
Speaker 1:So I want to start off by talking about the importance of active listening. Now, you've probably heard this before, but it's important that you are actively listening again. So Harvard Business Review defines active listening as when you not only hear what somebody is saying, but you also attune to their thoughts and feelings. So I'm not just hearing what somebody is saying, I am attuned to their thoughts and their feelings, and this in turn turns a conversation into an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction. So often things just get lost in translation. They get lost in communication, and so, as opposed to just like nodding your head and repeating back what someone is saying to you, when you are actively listening, you are also truly paying attention to and comprehending the information being relayed to you. I can't tell you how many times. Bless my husband's heart.
Speaker 1:I don't know if he's going to listen to this episode where he's told me things and I'm nodding my head and I repeat back to him what he said to me and I didn't hear anything that he said, like a thing that he needs me to do, like take out the trash or whatever it might be. I'm listening, but I am not even kind of listening and I didn't even hear anything that he said. And then a week later, he's like but I told you and I'm like, yeah, but I wasn't listening. He's like, but you repeated it back to me and I'm like, yeah, but I wasn't listening to anything that you said.
Speaker 1:So active listening is so, so important to ensure that we are fully present to the people's thoughts and feelings that are communicating to us in that conversation. And one of the key aspects this is huge and I think is the hardest part when it comes to active listening is to do your best to stay emotionally neutral and calm when receiving communication from somebody else. This can be extremely difficult, especially when we're having challenging conversations with staff, but this is essential. This is key. We can be listening to somebody all day long, but when we start to have feelings bubble up, like what they're saying is starting to make us mad or frustrated or pissed off or whatever it might be, it makes it nearly impossible to be an active listener, really taking into account and observing all that this person is saying. And so think about it Half the time, when we're in a difficult conversation with a partner or a child or even a staff member, you can feel those emotions start to arise, and it might not even be anger or frustration, it might be disappointment, it might be whatever feeling you would describe, where you wanna roll the eyes into the back of your head like, come on, are you serious?
Speaker 1:Maybe that's disappointment. And that's where we start to get in trouble with being an active listener, because when that happens, what we focus on instead in our brains and in our thoughts is how we're going to respond. So now we are no longer listening to what this person has to say. We are totally focused on what our response is going to be, and this is totally normal human thing to do, like we all do this. And I think bringing awareness to this and thinking about the more that you can practice remaining calm and neutral when something difficult arises, the better of an active listener that you're gonna become. And it's helpful to know there are just gonna be difficult conversations, there are just going to be difficult moments with our team, and the more that we can accept that and the more that we can do our absolute best to detach ourselves from the emotions that we might feel heading into a tough conversation, then the better off we're going to be. You know, I just think of.
Speaker 1:I have so many different examples and obviously I don't want to share anyone's personal information on the podcast, but I have so many examples of emotions getting the best of us when in a conflict with a staff member and if we come from a place of being attuned to their thoughts and feelings and what they're going through. Yes, we are the leader. Yes, things impact us too. Yes, we are people and humans and have emotions as well. And we are the leader, we are the CEO, and our high level of emotional intelligence is really important to be able to handle conversations with grace and kindness, without judgment, and when we can come from that place, in those conversations with our staff where we are a safe place, where, yeah, you know they might do something that ultimately gets them fired or let go, but we can still be a kind and gracious human being, knowing that they are a person too right, that they have struggles, that they're going through too, and so, as much as you can remove your own emotion from those difficult conversations, knowing that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, like everything's going to be okay, everything's going to be okay. Even in the absolute worst case scenario, everything is still going to be okay, and I think it's really helpful to remind yourself of that. This other person is a human too. They've got all of their own things going on too. And you are the boss, you are the leader and it is your job to have that high level of emotional intelligence to be able to handle those types of conversations without judgment. And that is hard and that is why we are leaders and that is why we rise to the occasion and we get to become better people as we help our teams become better people too.
Speaker 1:And look, you are not going to become an active listener like rockstar overnight. This is literally a lifelong thing that if you just pay attention to it and put intention behind it when you have conversations with team members, you're going to start to get a little bit better at it little by little and you're going to go in and out of it. Like I said, I think I am a great listener with my team. I am not a great listener with my husband. I'm a great listener with my son, not a great listener with my husband. He bless his heart, my poor husband. He just, for whatever reason, I have a very hard time being an active listener with him and that's something I get to work on.
Speaker 1:Still right, and putting intention and attention behind that. So my simplest piece of advice I have with this one is this mantra that I repeat to myself this isn't about me, this is about the business. This is about helping others realize their greatest potential. So that's my mantra. I think about that all the time. This is not about me, this is about the business. This is about helping my team realize their greatest potential. And when I say that and when I really believe that, it helps me to remove any ego that I may have involved and it allows me to come from a place of serving the greater good. So it's just such a different perspective, it's just such a beautiful place to lead from. They're like you're just the conduit, I'm just the vessel, I am just the steward of this vision, and it is my responsibility as the leader to lead with a strong emotional intelligence. So that's number one active listening. As the leader to lead with a strong emotional intelligence. So that's number one active listening.
Speaker 1:Number two another tool that I suggest you focus on in order to improve your communication is paying attention to people's nonverbal cues. So nonverbal communication includes things like facial expressions, people's hand gestures, the intonation in their voice, the way that they are holding themselves, the way they carry themselves, their body language, where's, like, hand gestures, the intonation in their voice, the way that they are holding themselves right, the way they carry themselves, their body language, where their eyes are focusing things along those lines. And if we were like in person, it's how someone like might touch you right, like might touch the back of your hand or your shoulder while they're talking to you. Their personal space, how close they get to you. All of that stuff. That is all communicating things. I said that word, I said that weird. That's all communicating things.
Speaker 1:And while many of us have maybe heard that communication is 90% nonverbal, that's a myth that's been put to bed. But nonverbal cues are still a massive part of how people perceive what we are communicating to them and how we can perceive what others are communicating to us. So that's the two things that I want to point out here regarding nonverbal communication that you can take back to your own leadership. Number one I want you to think about your own body language. When you are conveying something to your staff, when you are talking about a project or an assignment or a new task or an initiative, pay attention to your posture, your gestures, your facial expressions, even Because think about this. Like I'll just give you an example If I have a big project that I need my staff to do and it's going to suck, and I sit down and I'm like, okay, you guys, this is going to be really hard, this is going to suck, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1:I appreciate your guys' support with this and my body language, my shoulders are shrugged, I'm not super excited about it. I'm not enrolling anybody in wanting to help do that, right. But if I come at it and I'm like, look you guys, and my body language is open, my shoulders are back. I'm using my hands, my intonation, my voice. Look, you guys, we've got a big project. I know not a lot of us have a ton of time to do this, and the more that we can get this done together, the better off we're going to be.
Speaker 1:And so I am using my hands, I'm using my nonverbal communication, I'm using the way that I am speaking to my team to communicate the same message, but in a much more enrolling way, to get them to be excited about the crappy thing that we have to all go do together, right? So our own nonverbal communication is so, so important. I want you to think about this too, as the leader with your own nonverbal communication. What is your posture like when you're talking to your staff? What are your gestures like? What are your facial expressions like? Because when you communicate with somebody from a physical position that is open and relaxed so think of like shoulders back and relaxed you seem more approachable and confident to your staff member. And when you seem more approachable, more open, more relaxed, that actually makes it easier for them to feel comfortable asking you follow-up questions or clarifying questions, and that's really important for them to be able to ensure that they have all the details they need to go do what you want them to do right.
Speaker 1:Two with this, with nonverbal communication, is not only are you paying attention to your body language, but I want you to start reading and paying attention to your staff's body language. What is their body language or intonation in their voice conveying to you? Do their responses sound confident? Do they sound unsure? Does their body language show that they don't care or does it show that they are highly engaged? I can't tell you how many Zoom calls, because our staff is all over the country. How many Zoom calls we've been on where I'm looking at somebody and I know that something is wrong. No one else is maybe paying attention, no one else is maybe picking up on that, but I will send them a message afterwards and I'll be like, hey, is everything okay? I noticed the way in which you were kind of sitting, that it didn't seem like you were all right, just based on the way that someone is sitting in their chair or the look on their face. They haven't said anything to me, but their nonverbal communication is telling me that I got to go check on them.
Speaker 1:We have got to be able to read our staff's body language, their intonation, all of their nonverbal cues and communication, because it is telling us something, that is communicating something to us as leaders. And I remember, actually, a specific example. I was having a conversation recently with one of my staff regarding potentially taking on a new responsibility in the company and when I shared with her what I was thinking, while her words were, yes, I'd love to, her body language and intonation actually said to me that's a big freaking no. And I was able to read that and pick up on that. And because I said to her because of my active listening skills right, I was paying attention to her body language I said to her back, I said that doesn't really sound like it is something you actually really want to do. And she was like, yeah, you know, I don't know, it just doesn't really excite me, but I'll do it. And I'm like, no, we want you to be happy with what you're doing. We want you to be excited about what you're doing. And so we had a great conversation because I was able to pick up on that, because I was paying attention to her right. Otherwise, we would have ended up in a place where the staff member was unhappy, unfulfilled in their role, didn't want to be doing what they were doing right, and who knows where that would have led. So that's where, like, that's a beautiful example of it being so important to be reading our staff's nonverbal communication with us on a consistent basis.
Speaker 1:Okay, the last thing is not really a communication strategy as much as it is just a way of being as a leader that I think is able to improve communication up the chain to you as the boss. And this is this concept of defenselessness. I love this concept, defenselessness, and it's from a book, a text that I read recently. And if you want to Slack not Slack me if you want to send me an Instagram message. I'll share it with you.
Speaker 1:But the quote says in my defenselessness, safety lies. In my defenselessness, safety lies, safety lies. And there's something so beautiful, just reassuring, calming, about this idea Because if we are defenseless with our teams, we are therefore approachable to them. They feel that they can come to us with their problems, with their concerns. They know we're going to listen, they know we're there to help and they know we're there to help and that we're not going to be defensive about anything. And, quite frankly, not only does the safety in that instance exist for you, but ultimately for our company.
Speaker 1:In my defenselessness, the safety of the business lies, because companies thrive when there is open, honest and safe communication, and that only happens when you, as the leader, live that out in your day-to-day. How you operate, how you be right, you're just standard operating procedure. As a person, as a human on this planet, you know, half the time, when someone comes to me with a problem or something's frustrating to them, really, they really just wanna be heard. They really just wanna be validated. They just want someone to say yeah, I hear you. That sucks, I get that. Do you want my help in solving that problem or did you just need to talk to somebody about it and then we can move on and think about having a boss that you could go to? That's like that.
Speaker 1:Our team needs that from us, and there is nothing weak about being defenseless, and in fact, I would argue the opposite that that is where strength as leadership lies is in your own defenselessness. We are the coach of our team, we are the place of safety for them, and it is so important that we demonstrate that for every single person on our team, every single person on our team. So that's another one that I would write down, put it on a post-it note and I'm going to leave you with that, because I just think it is God. I love it. It's something that I just try my best to live my life by is in my defenselessness safety lies, so freaking good. All right, you guys, thank you so much for joining me for this episode. If you found something helpful, send me a direct message, voice message, on Instagram. I would love to hear from you, and if you want to leave me a review, that would be awesome too. All right, we'll see you next week on the podcast. Have a wonderful week, everybody.
